FUUUU

I just realized I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I don't like anything. Or maybe I just like everything and can't pick.

I don't want some boring desk job so I can make some boring money and return to my boring house. I especially don't want to be seen as stupid if I elect to go to community college or something. I'm just coming to the realization that I'm home-oriented. I'm also coming to the realization that psychology is entirely about research and experiments. That's not what I signed up for, or what I thought I signed up for.

At this point, I want to just chill at home. Forever. And then get my own house and live in it. Forever. And then money will fall from the sky into my waiting lap, and life will be good. But we know that isn't possible, so I'll have to come up with something else.

aaaahhhhh

Growing!

I'm pretty excited for April break in a few days. Aside from the obvious reasons -- family, friends, food -- I'm excited to be able to grow vegetables.

I love vegetables. The problem is that they're so expensive to buy. So I figured, why not grow them? I'll be a lot more comfortable knowing where my food actually comes from and I'm sure it'll taste that much better knowing that I worked so hard to grow it.

I'm pretty hyped to go home and buy soil, pots, seeds, and all the things I'll need. I'm not entirely sure what to grow yet. I know I'll do the mainstays -- tomatoes, cucumbers, peas, beans, carrots maybe... I don't know what else though. We shall see! It'll be a good time. :)

Life.

Life sometimes becomes pretty complex.

I'm worried about my mother. It's been a well-known fact for a while that she has cancer. She was feeling better for a while but now she just seems to be going downhill all over again. Her job's on the line and they're not going to want to keeps someone who's too sick to come in. So now not only am I worried about her cancer, I'm worried that my family won't have enough money to sustain itself. Add to this the fact that I'm an hour and a half away at college and can't help them at all and urgh. It's just frustrating. I should be there to help, but instead I'm sitting here being worried and stressed.

So I'm just going to knit.

Spring cleaning!

I have been neglecting getting this blog going in favour of Tumblr. Whoops.

Anyway...

I enjoy spring cleaning. It gives me this whole feeling of starting anew. I can throw out a bunch of crap that I no longer need/want and I can maybe bring in some stuff that I actually do need/want. There's something so nice about clearing out a room and scrubbing it down and then inevitably messing it up again.

There are, however, a few problems with cleaning out this room. First of all, I'm not the only one that lives here -- I can't exactly clean my roommate's half of the room. I mean, I'm sure she wouldn't mind, but that's creepy. Secondly, this room is so so so small. There will never be enough room for all of my stuff. There wasn't enough room when I moved in here, and as I've acquired new things throughout the year, there certainly isn't enough room now. Third, there's something mildly depressing about cleaning a room that kind of looks like a prison (white cinderblock walls are not welcoming). So all in all, the spring cleaning effort is kind of futile, because this room will always look like a prison and I will always have too much stuff for the space I've been granted.

I hope to get a few things done by April 1st, such as finish knitting Annie's sweater and turn some old unwanted shirts into new glorious things...I'm thinking a nice rainbow braided rug or maybe some sort of weird thrown-together quilt. I'm in the process of cutting up smutty magazines right now to make into decoupage. I also have to use up the rest of my hemp string and beads so I can have an excuse to buy more. I'm looking for a few new crafts to pick up, because I need some things to do during the summer. Once I actually get all organized I'll take pictures, but I don't want you all to know how slobby I am. Oh, life.

Speaking of summer, it's upon us very very quickly now...spring just officially started today. I get out of here May 10th. That's summer to me.